Gordon Brown announces his death!

In a strategically brilliant move, Mr Brown today announced that he was dying:

..As a 59 year old man in reasonable health, I am obliged, in the national interest to inform the electorate that I anticipate I shall be dead in the order of 20 years from now.

To allow strong, stable government, and to put into motion the process of electing a new leader within the Parliamentary Labour Party, I shall stay on as Prime Minister until the party conference in 2030. This is my unshakeable constitutional duty.  In the meantime, I welcome the opportunity to open talks formally with Mr Clegg of the Liberals...”

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